Moving Aging Parents: Why the Emotional Work Matters as Much as the Logistics
Ryan Hegarty shares what he learned as a moving professional helping his own parents downsize, relocate, and move closer to family.
7/1/20263 min read
Helping an aging parent move is one of those life experiences that can look simple from the outside.
Find a new home.
Pack the boxes.
Hire a moving company.
Move the furniture.
But families who have lived through it know the reality is much more complicated.
Moving an older parent can involve decades of memories, long-held routines, health concerns, family tension, financial decisions, downsizing, and the changing relationship between parents and adult children.
In a recent episode of Real Estate Connections, Mary Foerster spoke with Ryan Hegarty, Director of Residential Sales at Olympia, about helping move his own parents twice.
Ryan has spent more than 16 years in the moving industry.
Yet even with all of his professional experience, moving his parents gave him a much deeper understanding of what families go through during a major transition.
The Moving Truck Is Often the Easy Part
One of Ryan’s strongest observations is that the physical move itself is often the easiest part.
A moving company can bring trucks, boxes, crews, packing supplies, and systems.
But the emotional work takes much longer.
Families may need to decide:
What items belong in the new home
What should be donated
What should be sold
What should be stored
What should be passed down
What needs to be thrown away
What memories are attached to certain belongings
What the parent is ready to let go of
What the adult child feels responsible for saving
Those decisions can be exhausting, especially when a parent has lived in the same home for many years.
Downsizing Is More Than Reducing Square Footage
Downsizing is often described as a practical process.
A family moves from a larger home into a smaller apartment, condo, assisted-living residence, or home near relatives.
But downsizing can feel like a loss.
A parent may be leaving the place where children were raised, holidays were celebrated, milestones were marked, and familiar routines were built.
It is understandable that someone may need time to make decisions.
Ryan shared that, in hindsight, he may have pushed his mother a little too quickly at the beginning of the first move.
His heart was in the right place. He wanted to help. He wanted the home ready for the market. He wanted to make sure his parents were in a safer and more manageable situation.
But a move is not always something that can be rushed emotionally, even when the timeline feels urgent.
Adult Children Become Partners
Many adult children suddenly find themselves in a new role when their parents need to move.
They may become the planner.
The organizer.
The person researching apartments.
The person coordinating real estate professionals.
The person arranging movers.
The person helping decide what stays and what goes.
That role can be meaningful, but it can also be heavy.
The key is to approach the transition as a partnership whenever possible.
Parents may need help, but they also need dignity, agency, and a sense that their voices matter.
Families tend to do better when adult children listen first, rather than assuming they know the best solution immediately.
What Is a Move Manager?
A move manager is a professional who helps coordinate the many moving parts of a relocation.
They may assist with:
Creating a move timeline
Sorting and decluttering
Deciding what will fit in the new home
Packing
Coordinating donation and disposal
Working with movers
Overseeing move day
Unpacking
Organizing the new space
Helping a client settle into a new routine
Move managers can be especially helpful for older adults, families relocating a loved one to assisted living or memory care, adult children who live far away, or families who simply do not know where to start.
Ryan mentions two examples in the episode: Renew Relocation in Greater Boston and Life Simplified in the Greater Philadelphia area.
Why Professional Support Matters
Families often try to do everything themselves because they want to save money or feel responsible.
Sometimes a DIY approach makes sense.
But there are moments when professional help can prevent overwhelm, conflict, injury, damaged belongings, or a move that becomes more stressful than it needs to be.
Professional movers bring expertise in packing, transporting, protecting furniture, managing logistics, and solving problems.
Move managers bring expertise in the emotional, organizational, and practical preparation before and after the truck arrives.
Together, those professionals can help a family make the transition feel far more manageable.
Listening Is a Service Skill
Ryan shared one of the most important ideas in the episode when he said that the best service professionals listen.
They listen to what a client is saying.
They also listen for what the client may not know how to say.
A family may call a mover because they need a truck.
But what they may really need is help with timing, sorting, storage, downsizing, donation, packing, or simply reassurance.
The best professionals do not just perform a task.
They help people feel understood.
Final Thoughts
Moving aging parents is not simply a transaction.
It is a transition.
It can be difficult, emotional, exhausting, and deeply meaningful.
Families do not have to figure it all out alone.
With a thoughtful plan, clear communication, and the right support, a move can become less about loss and more about creating a safer, more connected next chapter.
Resources Mentioned
Olympia
Renew Relocation
Life Simplified
https://www.lifesimplifiedpo.com/
Guest and Resource Links
Olympia: https://olympiamoving.com/
Renew Relocation: https://www.wendybuglio.com/
Life Simplified: https://www.lifesimplifiedpo.com/