Why Staying Connected Matters More Than You Think
Mary Foerster reflects on loneliness, handwritten notes, business relationships, friendship, and the simple power of reaching out.
7/15/20263 min read
Many of us spend far too much energy wondering what other people are thinking about us.
Are they judging us?
Did they notice what we said?
Are they wondering why we did or did not show up?
Are they thinking about our choices, our clothes, our work, our mistakes?
Most of the time, the answer is no.
Most people are thinking about themselves.
Their own worries.
Their own insecurities.
Their own responsibilities.
Their own regrets.
Their own hopes.
That realization can be deeply freeing.
It can also be a reminder that connection often begins when we stop overthinking and simply reach out.
The Assumptions That Keep Us Apart
Mary Foerster opens this solo episode of Real Estate Connections by reflecting on a memorable episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. In the episode, Buffy gains the ability to hear other people’s thoughts. She expects to discover that people are focused on her.
Instead, she learns that everyone is consumed with their own internal dialogue.
That idea stayed with Mary because it reflects something many of us experience in real life.
We assume people are thinking about us.
We assume they are judging us.
We assume they remember the awkward thing we said or the choice we made.
Those assumptions can keep us isolated.
They can stop us from reaching out.
They can prevent us from connecting with people who might be happy to hear from us.
What the Pandemic Revealed
The pandemic changed the pace of life for many people.
It interrupted routines, work, social gatherings, travel, family visits, and community life.
For some, it created quiet.
For others, it created deep loneliness.
Mary reflects on how many people, especially older adults living alone, experienced months and months of isolation.
That kind of loneliness made the importance of connection even more visible.
We were reminded that relationships are not automatic.
They require care.
They require attention.
They require action.
The Regret of Lost Connection
Mary references a study from a hospice nurse who asked people near the end of life about their greatest regrets.
The regrets included wishing they had been more themselves, worked less, expressed their feelings more, stayed connected with friends, and allowed themselves to be happier.
Those regrets are connected.
They all point toward a life lived with more honesty, more presence, more courage, and more connection.
Staying connected is not just a social nicety.
It is part of living a meaningful life.
How Podcasting Created Connection
For Mary, podcasting became one way to create and strengthen connection.
During the pandemic, Mary Elliott suggested starting a podcast with Mary McCauley and Mary Foerster. That project became Married to Real Estate, where the three Marys recorded 50 episodes and discovered the joy of giving people a microphone.
Eventually, Mary Foerster launched Real Estate Connections.
The title reflects the central belief of the show:
Relationships open doors.
That is true in real estate, but it is also true in life.
Your Gold Mine May Be in Your Backyard
When Mary started her real estate business, she learned an important lesson through coaching.
Her source of prosperity was already in her existing relationships.
Former clients.
Friends.
Neighbors.
Professional contacts.
Community members.
People she had known for years.
This is true for many professionals.
The next opportunity does not always come from chasing strangers.
Sometimes it comes from tending to the relationships already in your life.
The Power of a Personal Note
In a world of texts, emails, alerts, and advertisements, a handwritten note stands out.
A personal note says:
I remembered you.
I thought of you.
I appreciated something you did.
I took time to write this down.
That kind of gesture is rare enough now that it can be deeply meaningful.
Mary reminds listeners that writing a note may take 10 minutes, but the impact can last much longer.
Reach Out Today
The challenge of this episode is simple.
Reach out to one person today.
Call a friend.
Text a former client.
Send a birthday message.
Write a note.
Check in with a relative.
Follow up with a guest.
Reconnect with someone from your past.
You do not need a perfect reason.
You do not need a polished script.
You only need to begin.
Most of the time, people will be grateful.
They will remember that you thought of them.
And in a world where many people feel unseen, that matters.
Final Thoughts
Connection is not complicated.
But it does require intention.
The people who come to mind may be coming to mind for a reason.
Reach out.
Stay connected.
Because relationships open doors.